From Dreams to Goals

James Wildman

Let’s start with a fundamental idea: dreams are the big picture, the what-if moments that energize us, but goals—goals are where the magic happens. Dreams, on their own, can be a bit like standing at the edge of a forest and imagining all the paths you could take.

Amanda Whitmore

And goals are putting on your hiking boots, picking a path, and trekking toward something concrete, right? Otherwise, you're just staring at the trees.

James Wildman

That’s exactly it. One of the key distinctions is specificity. From what I gather is that our unconscious minds thrive on clarity. A vague dream like “I want more success” leaves your mind floundering.

Amanda Whitmore

Alright, let’s pause there. Why are people so bad at setting specific goals? I mean, it’s everywhere. “I wanna lose weight,” “I wanna save more money.” It’s almost like we’re scared to pin things down.

James Wildman

It’s an interesting point! I frame it as a trust issue, subconsciously, people don’t trust themselves to achieve the goal. So they avoid being specific, just in case they fail.

Amanda Whitmore

Huh. That resonates. You know, back early in my broadcasting career, I was exactly like that. All I said was, “I want to work in TV.” No wonder I was stuck writing blogs for years. It wasn’t until I sat down and really defined my goal—“I want to present my own segment on-air by the end of the year”—that things started moving.

James Wildman

That’s a brilliant example. Once you gave your unconscious mind a detailed map—

Amanda Whitmore

It got to work, yeah. Opportunities started appearing. And, you know what? That’s when my producer gave me my first on-air slot. Wild coincidence? I don’t think so.

James Wildman

Not wild at all. This ties perfectly to the idea that the unconscious mind is the goal getter, whereas the conscious mind is the goal setter. When we clearly articulate goals, we activate that unconscious process—it’s like giving your best guide a compass and a list of landmarks.

Amanda Whitmore

Right, because otherwise, we’re just wandering. That’s the thing, isn't it? All those vague dreams we’re too scared to define—they’re not dreams with direction; they’re just fantasies.

James Wildman

Exactly. To move from dreaming to achieving, the first step is taking that hazy vision and turning it into something actionable. You’re in broadcasting not because you dreamed of it, but because you set a clear path to get there.

Amanda Whitmore

And hey, that’s the real takeaway, isn’t it? Give your dream a deadline, some structure—it becomes a goal. Then your unconscious can work its magic.

James Wildman

So, Amanda, as we talk about moving from vision to action, it perfectly segues into another fascinating aspect of NLP: the journey of developing competency. It’s mapped into these four stages, starting with unconscious incompetence—when you don’t even realize what you don’t know.

Amanda Whitmore

So, blissful ignorance. Like when you think driving looks super easy until you actually sit behind the wheel and—bam—you’ve got no clue where to start.

James Wildman

Exactly. And then you move into conscious incompetence, where you're painfully aware of everything you don’t know. It’s like realizing, oh no, I need to learn gears, mirrors, clutch control—and, well, not die in the process.

Amanda Whitmore

That’s the "Oh, I’m rubbish at this" stage, isn’t it? Honestly, so demotivating, because you just feel stuck and overwhelmed.

James Wildman

True, and it’s where a lot of people give up. But this is also where NLP modeling can make a huge difference. By observing and modeling someone who’s already competent, you can leapfrog through that frustration.

Amanda Whitmore

Right, like stealing their cheat codes. So, what’s next? Conscious competence?

James Wildman

Yes. At this stage, you can perform the task, but you have to think about it every step of the way. Back to driving—remember learning to shift gears? You’d concentrate so hard your knuckles turned white.

Amanda Whitmore

Oh, absolutely. I stalled about fifty times my first week. But then, over time, it clicks, right?

James Wildman

That’s where unconscious competence sweeps in. You’ve practiced so much, the skill becomes second nature. Suddenly, you’re driving on autopilot without realizing you’ve even changed gears.

Amanda Whitmore

That part’s wild—when it feels like magic. But there’s a catch, isn’t there?

James Wildman

Absolutely. I call it the expert paradox. Once you reach unconscious competence, teaching the skill becomes tricky. You’ve forgotten how much effort it took to learn. I had this exact experience with Portuguese. At first—

Amanda Whitmore

Wait, wait—Portuguese? When were you learning Portuguese?

James Wildman

During my time in Brazil. I transitioned through all four stages, from bumbling phrases to finally dreaming in Portuguese. But when one of my neighbours asked me to teach him English, I struggled. I couldn’t break down what I did instinctively anymore.

Amanda Whitmore

Ah, because you weren’t consciously doing it anymore. That’s fascinating—and kind of frustrating, I’d imagine.

James Wildman

Frustrating, yes, but it also highlights the importance of intentional modeling. If you’re learning, find someone who’s just one step ahead of you. You’ll still catch the nuance before it becomes second nature for them, too.

Amanda Whitmore

It’s like having a real-time guide rather than a map someone drew twenty years ago. Makes sense. But, going back a bit, what tends to hold people back the most at each stage?

James Wildman

Hmm, mostly fear or impatience. At the early stages, they fear looking foolish, and once they’re aware of their incompetence, impatience can set in. They think, “Why isn’t this happening faster?”

Amanda Whitmore

So relatable. I mean, with broadcasting, I almost quit in those early phases. The self-doubt was vicious.

James Wildman

But you didn’t. And that’s where persistence, combined with NLP techniques, can ease the process. It’s about micro-adjustments—tweaking small behaviors rather than overhauling everything at once.

Amanda Whitmore

I like that—small steps over big leaps—it feels doable. So, for anyone feeling stuck at one of these stages...

James Wildman

Start with awareness. Identify where you are, and then ask yourself: What’s the next smallest thing you can learn or model to keep moving?

James Wildman

Building on that idea of self-doubt and fear holding people back, let’s dive into fear itself—it’s such a common blocker, isn’t it? Acting on your goals often puts you in uncomfortable situations, and hesitation creeps in. But here’s something I always remind myself when fear strikes: What’s the worst that can happen?

Amanda Whitmore

Bold. But also, terrifying for some, don’t you think? Saying "What’s the worst that can happen?" can spiral someone into thinking up a hundred worst-case scenarios.

James Wildman

Fair point. It’s not about catastrophizing, though. It’s about reframing. The idea is to surface those fears so they’re no longer lurking in the back of your mind, unspoken and unchecked. Once you name them, they lose their sting.

Amanda Whitmore

Alright, so you name the fear. What next? You just, what, dive in anyway?

James Wildman

Not quite. It’s more about shifting your perspective. Take Bob’s example. You know, the guy setting a goal to earn a hundred thousand pounds. When we dug into his motivations, he said it was because he was fed up being broke and hated where he lived.

Amanda Whitmore

Okay, classic "I’ve had enough of this" motivation. Nothing wrong with that, though, right?

James Wildman

It seems fine on the surface, but here’s the thing—his goal was rooted in negative energy. He was moving away from something rather than toward something. And that’s not a great foundation for success.

Amanda Whitmore

Ah, because he’s chasing it out of frustration rather than inspiration. Got it. So, how do you flip it?

James Wildman

You start by redefining the goal in a way that enhances the present. With Bob, it was about helping him see what he already had—being grateful for his current home and recognizing the wealth in his life. From that point, the goal shifted. It became about building on a positive foundation, not escaping a negative one.

Amanda Whitmore

That’s fascinating. So instead of "I hate my house," it’s more like "I love the idea of a place with more space where I can thrive."

James Wildman

Exactly. It’s not just semantics—it’s about emotional alignment. When your goals align with positive energy, your unconscious mind gets on board and works with you, not against you. Contrast that with fear—

Amanda Whitmore

Or self-doubt. that’s the big one, isn’t it?

James Wildman

It definitely is. And that’s where breaking big goals into smaller, manageable steps comes in. Take action first, even if it’s tiny. The act of doing something, no matter how small, often dissolves those fears.

Amanda Whitmore

And once you’ve got that momentum going, the rest feels... possible, doesn’t it? Like you’re rewiring your brain to say, “Hey, I can actually do this.”

James Wildman

Yes, and that’s the beauty of it. The unconscious mind thrives on action—it seizes opportunities and makes connections once you’re in motion. But it’s the alignment—the why behind your goal—that fuels that action sustainably.

Amanda Whitmore

So, if your "why" is off, you’re running with a limp. Get that why sorted, though, and suddenly you’re sprinting.

James Wildman

A perfect way to put it. Align your motivation, make peace with your fears, and take small, meaningful steps. That’s when you see dreams turning into goals, and goals becoming achievements.

Amanda Whitmore

And that’s the magic of it all, isn’t it? Taking control, aligning with the right energy, and just... going for it.

James Wildman

Well said. And on that note, I think we’ve really covered the journey—taking a dream, shaping it into a goal, navigating the stages of growth, and overcoming the barriers to action. Quite the adventure.

Amanda Whitmore

Absolutely. And to our listeners, go out there, set those goals, and make them count. Until next time!

James Wildman

Yes, take care, everyone—and remember, it’s all about the journey.